Dear dad, we need to talk about your adult mobility scooter
How adult mobility scooters became the key weapon for fierce competition and strife in the most prestigious old-age home in New England
First off, I have to say, I never expected your transition to “Golden pasture age home” to be a smooth one. Even though it’s the top institution New England has to offer, I knew how much you appreciated your freedom.
You can imagine my surprise when you said yes after our first visit! I was so relieved you took such a liking to the place. We all thought you would be a lot happier there and were glad you started to see it that way.
Active In The Community
When we spoke last over the phone, you seemed to be very active in the community. I was thrilled to hear you started playing Bridge again. You even joined the water aerobics classes (Even though I remember you distinctly saying how much you hate swimming).
When you asked me for a new elderly mobility scooter, I assumed you wouldn’t be anywhere near needing one. But seeing that you were still adjusting, I wanted you to enjoy your experience to the max.
When I came to visit you the following week to see how you’re getting along with your brand-new adult mobility scooter, I could tell you were miserable. All you did was complain about it. You mumbled something about the charging time or the speed…I thought, what the heck, I’ll go ahead and get you a better one. I could see you had the flyer ready for the very moment I agreed.
This new one was far more expensive than your current model, but I thought, why not? You’ve given me so much, it’s really the least I can do.
Walking out of the home, I noticed the other members of the Golden pasture riding along in their own adult mobility scooters that looked just like the one you requested.
Two week later you ring me up for the first time in years, telling me about the place and sounding chipper.
Brand New Adult Mobility Scooter
My smile turned into confusion when you told me the second scooter I brought wasn’t working properly, so I went down to see it myself. The minute I walked in, I could tell everyone was driving around in a brand new adult mobility scooter that looked more like a spaceship than anything else. They were all speaking on their adjustable screens and zooming past me like I was thin air, but I could still catch their smug smiles.
Cool Kids On The Block
When I saw you, you were back to your sour mood and told me that the only way to fix it is to upgrade your elderly mobility scooter. Reluctant, I agreed, even though it was starting to cut into my savings.
I have to say dad, after the first two times, I get it, you want to be ahead of the game. You want to be part of the cool kids on the block and that’s ok. What’s not ok is how it’s distracting you from what’s important. That is showing those pompous, old fart bags how better you are than them.
The Importance Of Happiness
Don’t be afraid to say what you really feel dad. Your happiness is important, but these guys need to see what a loving son really looks like. Stop trying to live up to their expectations. Surpass them by getting an even better model than their cheap adult mobility scooters.
I’m sending you a better one this time, one that will show them and make them jealous beyond measure.
I’m attaching a photograph of the model, so that you can have something to look forward to,
Your loving son.